write with your left

taught from a right

get yelled for being different

and settle with the right?

what is innate has never left

but remained with confusion

while handedness change for every task

comfort doesn’t lean to a single side

lessons remind me this applies elsewhere

the right is common and likely unaware

those that’s left are outsiders but mindful

i am neither always right

nor have I completely left

i am not the middle

but a combination of preferences

respect is needed in society

while concealing the pain is more welcome 

when will we be real enough?

and accept these differences

we are all just students of our own lives

lack of thought kept me right

but some form of pride encouraged me

to write with the left again

at the end of the day

it’s not nearly as neat 

but it smiles back at me

my father pressured me to be right-handed. i still wouldn’t forget how much it upset me. i didn’t understand why this was necessary. i often would like to know the reason to things, and his answers didn’t make much sense. i was too young to understand, but so was society with the lack of left-handed desks during my dad’s time in secondary school. that was his reason.

he screamed at me because of the insane appearance of writing backwards, or in a mirrored view. i always thought that act meant i was a righty that was just stupid. it wasn’t after years of just swapping my handedness in sports or daily activities that caused me to wonder. it was also pretty odd that my left arm was a tad bigger and in form while i had to readjust the posture of my right shoulder blade regularly. i looked it up while retraining myself to write with my left again some time ago. i felt like i had some closure when i read about the troubles of left handed writers and i had the same-ass ‘symptoms’.

it’s somewhat domineering to be taught in that, “if you don’t do this, you’ll suffer” sort of way. there was a number of things my dad said that was out of hand. but as time passed, somehow he became much more understanding of it all. he had apologized to me about these things and i shrugged it off because i wasn’t wanting an apology. i know my dad wouldn’t mean any harm. however, it was fulfilling when he did apologize about switching me to writing with my right hand. i wonder if that’s a challenge young fathers face (being too controlling, not handedness), because i learned a lot from his experiences. i hope i just don’t forget that feeling if i’m lucky enough to be a father.

this comparison is a rudimentary example of a majority and minority mindset. the ones who fall to the minority feels more challenged and away from the rest. i’ve been an outsider in so many ways. this alienation to some extent has been a big theme in my life, and i find myself thinking back to see if it can guide me.